Squamish

A sport played in portions of the Gateway and Crucis Margin sectors towards the coreward parts of Charted Space.

Description (Specifications)

Playing Field

• The flutney is the playing field for Squamish. It is circular rather than the original pentagon and is 120 meters in diameter.
• The flutney is divided into five equal segments called Wedgies that radiate from the center of the field. Each wedgey is divided into a left and right half down the center of it. The inner and outer circles (see below) at the center of the field are not divided as part of the Wedgies.
• Centered on the dividing line of each wedgey at the outer edge of the field is a goal area called a Wicket. The wicket is a half circle ten meters wide and five meters deep at the center.
• Circles are marked on the field from the center as follows:
• Inner circle: 5 meters
• Outer circle: 10 meters
• Deep Brooder line: 20 meters
• Shallow Brooder line: 40 meters
• Tradition has it that the field should be painted in alternate red and black adjoining segments with the inner circle being red, the outer black, and all lines on the field being white.

Squamish Team

• A Squamish team consists of the 43 players.
• Each player is dressed in a long sleeved Jersey consisting of wide horizontal stripes alternating in team position and team color.
• They each wear a helmet similar to a common bike helmet in team color. Bermuda shorts in white or khaki and boat shoes with tall matching socks complete their uniform. They can optionally wear knee pads for groveling and such. Several players have special uniforms as noted.
• Each player should have a number displayed and the Grouches will have a large L or R on their jersey as well.
• Players on a team may be male or female for any position. If it is raining wicket men must be female.

Team Position List

• A Left and Right Inside Grouch: Jersey color black + team
• A Left and Right Outside Grouch: Jersey color brown + team
• 4 Deep Brooders each with a frullip (see below): Jersey color red + team
• 4 Shallow Brooders each with a frullip: Jersey color orange + team
• 5 Wicketmen: Standard short legged body suit for wrestling in team color.
• 3 Offensive Niblings: Jersey color yellow + team
• 4 Quarter Frummets: Jersey color green + team
• 2 Half Frummets: Jersey color blue + team
• 1 Full Frummet: Jersey color purple + team
• 2 Overblats: Jersey color grey + team
• 2 Underblats: Jersey color white + team
• 9 Finks, sometimes called Backup Finks all having a frullip: Jersey black and white vertical stripes
• 2 Leapers: Normally dressed in very skimpy outfit in team colors. Jet packs or grav belts are allowed for use by leapers.
• 1 Dummy (with optional frullip): A robot of less than 1000 credits in cost.

Game officials

In addition to the two teams there are a number of officials who regulate play. These are:

• The Probate Judge: He arbitrarily decides all issues regarding game play. His gratuitous decisions are final. Tradition has him wearing long black robes and a powdered wig.
• Two Field Representatives, one for each team. They cannot be part of the team and must be separately contracted. They traditionally dress in three piece suits of a conservative style, carry a briefcase, and wear a bowler hat. Optionally, they may have an umbrella. Their job is to argue all penalties, issues, rules, judgments, and the like, for their team with the Probate Judge.
• 5 Head Coxswains: One is stationed per wicket. They assess play and issue penalties along with determining if a Woomik (see below) is scored. All penalties and Woomiks are subject to a final ruling by the Probate Judge.
• Assisting the Head Coxswain at each wicket is a Smasher. The Smasher’s job is to break up all fights, altercations, riots, and other mayhem, by whatever means necessary except between Wicketmen. They may be armed appropriately.

Other notes on teams and players

With both teams and all officials there are 99 persons on the flutney.

Equipment for play

• The Frullip is a two meter long pole with a shallow hook on one end. Some players as indicated are equipped with one. Use is explained separately.
• A Pritz is also used. This is a 10 cm diameter soft leather ball stuffed with the feathers of an exotic and endangered flying species.

Player position duties and actions

• Only Niblings and Frummets may touch the Pritz or hold it in play.
• Inside Grouches (Left & Right): These players can physically block opposing players as allowed by the rules. They must stay within their half of the wedgey they are in (Left or Right) and can only change wedgeys by moving to the inner or outer circle and then to a new wedgey. They can advance towards the wicket to the Deep Brooder line from the inner circle. They cannot advance beyond that line.

• Outside Grouches (L & R): They perform the same function as Inside Grouches but may advance to the Shallow Brooder line but not beyond it.

• Deep Brooders may move on the field to the Deep Brooder line but not beyond. They may use their frullip to strike the pritz or to control another player as allowed elsewhere in the rules.

• Shallow Brooders act the same as Deep Brooders but may advance to the Shallow Brooder line on the field.
• Wicketmen: There is one wicket man assigned to each wicket. The Wicketmen engage their opposing team’s Wicketmen one on one in Greco-Roman style wrestling attempting to pin them. If a pin is adjudged to have occurred by the Head Coxswain of that wicket then control of that wicket for the Ogre is given to the team that pinned their opponent and only that team my score a Woomik at that wicket for the current Ogre. Until a pin is made at a particular wicket either side may score a Woomik in that wicket. Once a pin is achieved both Wicketmen for that Wicket join their team’s Leapers and try to rouse their fans to cheering and rioting. Wicketmen must stay in the wicket they are assigned to at all times. Wicketmen must be female if it is raining.

• Offensive Niblings: These are the only players that may score a Woomik. They can hold, throw, kick, or otherwise use the Pritz. They may move anywhere on the flutney outside the Shallow Brooder line.

• Quarter Frummets: They may hold, throw, kick, or otherwise use the Pritz. They can move anywhere on the flutney from the inner circle to the Deep Brooder line. They may not advance beyond that line towards the wicket.

• Half Frummets: They function the same as Quarter Frummets but may advance to the Shallow Brooder line and not beyond it.

• Full Frummet: The Full Frummet functions as team captain and directs their team’s play on the field. The Full Frummet may hold, throw, kick, or otherwise use the pritz. The Full Frummet may not leave the outer circle and no player may physically touch or frullip the Full Frummet.
• Full Frummets are known once play in a snivel begins to simply hurl insults at their opposing number. It is considered bad form for a Full Frummet to bring a chair and book or newspaper but is not against the rules.

• Overblat: The Overblats serve two functions. The first is that they can physically block other players. They can move between the edge of the flutney and the Shallow Brooder line freely. Their second function is to assist in scoring a Full Woomik. An Overblat must be present in the wicket when a nibling with the pritz enters it for a Full Woomik to be scored.

• Underblat: Underblats function identically to Overblats but if present in a wicket when a nibling enters with the pritz a Half Woomik is scored instead of a Full Woomik.

• Fink or Backup Fink: Finks are equipped with a frullip and may use it to control other players or strike the pritz. Finks must stay in the wicket they are assigned to. A maximum of two Finks may be assigned to a wicket unless no Over- or Underblat is in that wedgey. If no Over- or Underblat is in the wedgey then up to three Finks may be in the wicket.
• Leapers: The two Leapers on each team are normally female and scantily attired in team colors. Their official function is to assist the Full Frummet by observing and reporting play but normally they try and whip their team’s fans into cheering and rioting. They can be airborne using a jet pack or grav belt but may not leave the perimeter of the flutney.

• The Dummy is a robot replacement for an injured or player ejected from the game for penalties. Dummies cannot cost more than 1000 credits.

Game Play

• The game consists of seven (7) Ogres, unless it is raining, then there are eight. To begin a game the Probate Judge flips a coin provided by the two field representatives. The coin must be valued at more than 10,000 Icr and be exceedingly rare. Both Full Frummets call the toss. If both, or neither, gets the call right the Probate Judge arbitrarily rules in favor of the team with the better looking Full Frummet.
• Both teams form a “cabal” following the toss. This is to decide their strategy for the ogre. The offensive team lines up in the inner circle with their wicketmen, blats, niblings, finks, and leapers out to their position as the Full Frummet directs.
• The defensive team does the same except they line up in the outer circle.

• Play does not stop for penalties or infractions of the rules. Any player committing three (or more) in an ogre is removed from the game for the rest of the current ogre. This can be done forcibly by tazing or tranqing if necessary. The Smashers are responsible for doing this.
• The left and right of each wedgie is determined from looking from the wicket into the flutney. Grouches have to stay within their half of the wedgie and can only change wegies by moving to the inner or outer circle.
• The teams play five snivels per ogre each of three standard minutes. A snivel ends when:
  • • 3 minutes expire
  • • The defense takes possession of the pritz (only Frummets can do this).
  • • A woomik is scored by either team’s niblings.
• Only the offensive team can score in the first six ogres. Teams alternate offense and defense each ogre.
• In the last (7th) ogre the pritz stays in play regardless of which team has it and all snivels go for three minutes or until a woomik is scored.
• The pritz can be frulliped when not in direct control of a player by either team. This does not count as the defense having control.
• The wicketmen engage in wrestling to determine the ownership of each wicket for the current ogre. After the ownership of the wickets is determined, the wicketmen join the leapers in inciting the crowd as they have no role in the rest of the current ogre.
• If the defense team controls all five wickets the ogre ends and sides switch.
• The reason the wicketmen wrestle for control is by tradition, fights broke out as part of play. It makes things easier to have some fights going on all the time as part of play. The other players cannot fight as a result.

Penalties during play

• All penalties remove 1 to 6 points from a team’s score as arbitrarily decided by the Probate Judge, and to be adjusted for a final decision after arguing with the Field Representatives of both teams.
• The penalties include:
  • Low frulliping: Using the frullip to trip a player below the knee.
  • Pritzing: A player touching or getting hit by the Pritz when not allowed to do so.
  • Hoarding the Pritz: Any player holding the pritz other than frummets or niblings.
  • Flaming the fans: The Wicketmen and Leapers fail to excite the fans into cheering, fighting, or rioting.
  • High frulliping: Hooking a player above the shoulders.
  • Fish out of water: A player is out of their allowed area of play.
  • Bounced or bad check: Blindsiding a player in physical contact from the side or rear.
  • Walling the pritz: The pritz strikes the walls of the flutney or is knocked out of the flutney.
  • Unwilling to snivel, or obscene sniveling: Failing to try and advance on a goal or deliberately giving the defense the pritz.
  • Personal foul: Assessed against any player for any reason. It for the Field Representatives to argue with the Probate Judge the legality of the call.
• If a player accumulates three (3) penalties they are removed from the game for the rest of the current ogre. The team’s Dummy may be used as a substitute for a removed player.

Scoring

• A team can have a negative or positive score. The team with the greatest score from zero (positive or negative) is declared the winner.
• When a Nibling in a wicket controlled by neither team or by the team the Nibling is on takes possession of the pritz that team scores a Woomik. There are two types of Woomik depending on how this occurs.
  • A Full Woomik occurs if the Nibling takes control and there is an Overblat from his / her team present in the wicket. This scores 17 points.
  • A Half Woomik is scored if a Nibling takes control and there is an Underblat present. This scores 8 ½ points.
• The Left and Right halves of the wicket are given a random score value of 1 to 20 which is added to the Woomik at the time it is scored. The value changes continuously and can be different for the Left and Right halves of the wicket.
• A Frummet (half or quarter) who can get the pritz to a Nibling in the wicket from inside the deep brooder line of the flutney for a Woomik makes the score triple.
• A Frummet who gets the pritz to a Nibling from the shallow brooder line to the deep brooder doubles the score of the Woomik.
• Scoring a Woomik from inside the deep brooder line for a full Woomik and a random added value of 20 is worth 111 points and is called a “Perfect Storm.” This ends the ogre.
• Should the score somehow be a tie, each team’s Full Frummet engages the other team’s in Sudden Death Overtime. This consists of the two lining up on the Inner Circle line opposite one and other. The preferred means of decision being either a plasma or fusion rifle. If this results in a tie remaining, both teams are sacrificed in the customary manner of the ancients and the whole game is covered up and never spoken of again.
• The final score of a Squamish game can take up to years to be decided. In some areas of the Gateway Squamish has become a tool of government to employ out-of-work legal professionals.

History & Background (Dossier)

Squamish was first invented nearly three thousand years ago, the game has evolved only in detail. This article covers the version played in portions of the Imperium like the Gateway and the Glimmerdrift Reaches and Crucis Margin.

Because of the complexity of scoring, Squamish games can generate betting, media discussion, and other entertainment for months, sometimes years. This has lead to an entire industry of gambling and media coverage of these games.

References & Contributors (Sources)

This list of sources was used by the Traveller Wiki Editorial Team and individual contributors to compose this article. Copyrighted material is used under license from Far Future Enterprises or by permission of the author. The page history lists all of the contributions.

• MAD Magazine #95, 1965, et. al.
• Author & Contributor: Enoki